|pretty_girl||Date: Wednesday, 05.16.2012, 7:24 AM | Message # 1|
|01. Mr.Knott is a teacher of a school in London. It's a long way to his school from his house so he is usually tired when he gets home. |
One day, he got home, was tired as uasual. He was in bed when someone called him. He went downstairs, picked up the phone and said,' Hello. Who's speaking. please?'
- What's your name, sir?
- Watt's my name.
- Yes, I asked you that. What's your name?
- I told you. Watt's my name. Are you Jack Smith?
- No, I'm Knott.
- Will you give me your name, please?
- Will Knott.
Both the men hanged up the phone angrily and thought,' What a stupid, rude man.'
An English professor wrote the words, "A woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and told the students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing."
Trả lời với trích dẫn Trả lời với trích dẫn
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with se xual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.
04. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
05. Father : I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son : “I will choose my own bride!”
Father: “But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.”
Son : “Well, in that case…ok”
Next, Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: “I have a husband for your daughter.”
Bill Gates: “But my daughter is too young to marry!”
Father: “But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.”
Bill Gates: “Ah, in that case…ok”
Finally, Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: “I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.”
President: “But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!”
Father: “But this young man is Bill Gates’s son-in-law.”
President: “Ah, in that case…ok”
This is how business is done!!